Character Questionnaire

By popular demand, here is a sample of a Character Questionnaire (like the ones I mentioned in yesterday’s post). You can find the original questionnaire here, or many other wonderful questions on the web (some with over 100 questions, which I think will give you just about anything you ever wanted to know about your characters).

1. What is your character’s full name?

2. When were they born?

3. What are their parent’s names?

4. Do they have any brothers or sisters?

5. What kind of eyes do they have?

6. What kind of hair do they have?

7. What is their complexion like?

8. What body type are they?

9. What is listening to their voice like?

10. Do they have a favourite quote?

11. What sort of music do they enjoy?

12. Have they ever cheated on a partner?

13. Have they ever lost someone close to them?

14. What is their favourite sound?

15. What is their opinion on euthanasia?

16. Are they judgmental of others?

17. Have they ever been drunk?

18. What are they like when they stay up all night?

19. Have they ever been arrested?

20. What colour evokes strong memories for them?

21. What do they do on rainy days?

22. What religion are they?

23. What word do they overuse the most?

24. What do they wear to bed?

25. Do they have any tattoos or piercings?

26. What type of clothing are they most comfortable in?

27. What is their most disliked saying?

28. Do they have any enemies?

29. What does their writing look like?

30. What disgusts them?

The Unanswerable Questions

One of the best things about a writing community, be it an online forum, a writers’ group, or any other sort of group is that they give you the chance to talk out our stories. Whether you’re a plotter (someone who outlines) or a pantser (someone who plots as they go along), I have yet to find a writer who doesn’t like talking about their work. Sure, hearing, “Oh, what’s your story about?” isn’t always the most loved question (writing something is so much easier than summarizing it while not making it sound completely boring and/or bizarre for some reason…) but even if you don’t like quick summaries, getting the chance to talk about your story, on your terms is almost always fun.

Beyond that, talking things out can definitely help when you’ve hit a writer’s block, or even just a snag. Ignoring any little side projects, what I have been writing lately has been quite an undertaking for me. For one, it is a series. I’ve never done a series before, and for a die-hard pantser that’s a bit of a struggle. (I currently have two small notebooks of just notes so I can keep everything straight/not have continuity errors between the books. Broke down and got Scrivener [another NaNoWriMo sponsor] as well. Good outlining software, for the record). Also, since it’s historical fiction, it takes a lot more research work than my modern or fantastical works have. I know what sort of cell phone all of my friends have, I can make up what fantasy characters have, I actually have to look up what historical characters have, and that makes for slower going.

Luckily, I have people I can talk to to work through all these problems. In a stroke of luck, my dear boyfriend is a historian, and thus has become my live in history expert for all those random “I have no idea if they would do this. Honey?” questions. And for what he can’t help me with (or when I feel like I’ve bugged him too much recently) I have my dear friends over at the NaNoWriMo forums.

There are plenty of other writing communities online, but they’re mine when I have a question I often find myself posting in either the Reference Desk (for the factual questions) or Plot Doctoring (for help with a plot hole and such). When possible, I also try to help other WriMos with their questions.

Many of the questions get good discussions going (and save our friends and family from having to listen to us try to talk out our plots) but you also get a fair share of questions that are truly just not answerable.

“My character is a 17-year-old girl who lives in Alaska. What would her favorite band be?”

Really, how would any of us begin to help answer that? There are so many different answers there’s no place to begin. Is she into classic rock? Punk? Top 40? How would any of us know?

Now, the problem with most of these questions, I believe, is not that the author doesn’t know their own characters (or at least I would hope it’s not that), it’s that the author knows their characters too well. You’ve been either writing or outlining them for however long that it doesn’t cross your mind when asking about them to specify that they are homeschooled, and like pop, and…

If that’s the case, when looking for help, it’s important to think about everything the people whom you are asking for help don’t know. It might make for a really long question, but it will end up taking less time then having half a dozen posts asking about the character before you actually end up getting anywhere.

Now, if it really is that you just don’t know your character (it isn’t that you aren’t a seventeen-year-old and want some teenage opinions), before ever bringing things up to other people to answer, try using a character questionnaire. These handy tools give you questions to help you work out just who your character is, from hair color, to family, to favorite food. Once you have one of these filled out, then you’ll be able to ask the small questions without having trouble answering all the little things about them.

Just, please, don’t put everything on a questionnaire into your story…info dumps are no fun.

Progress

I got an interesting question today: How do you feel about your past writing?

And wow is that a loaded question. I don’t think it’s any secret that I have hidden my first novel away for the time being. I don’t know if it’s unsalvageable, but it’s bad enough that it would take a good chunk of time to bring it up to a standard I’d be ok sharing with the world these days. It goes back to the “Your first novel is never as good as you think it is” point I’ve made a few times before (such as at the end of my recent interview here [look around the 3-minute mark]). Well, you might know that your first novel is awful, but as someone who has worked in acquisitions I know there are plenty of first novels that get sent out that most likely won’t be considered up to snuff as you get better (like, well, mine…) As I like to say, you may think it’s the best thing you’ve ever written, but that’s only because it has been up to that point. Writing is a skill. You get better the more you do it.

With that out of the way, though, lets break out my dusty old writing folder and see what I have from early on.

1. Librae
Here we go, the infamous first novel. Written at about 15, it’s the first longer work I finished. It still has a special place in my heart, but…shutter. Let’s look at this a little closer.

Length: 200,000 words. Yep this one got away from me, and that’s after a couple of rounds of edits. I’m sure it would have clocked in at at least 225,000 when first written. For some perspective, Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath is about 170,000, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is about 190,000. Yep, this is hundreds and hundreds of pages of first-time writer fun that outdoes the later Harry Potter books.

Plot: Ok, the plot isn’t too bad. I mean, it’s cliche, but not irredeemable. It’s about a bunch of teenagers who can control different elements (oddly enough, a common topic for first novels for some reason. I’ve seen a ton come through submissions and have edited many more). Honestly, it’s some sort of Harry Potter, Star Wars, The OC mix. Semi-enjoyable clichéd goodness all around.

Characters: Well, I can’t be too harsh on the characters here. They’re my babies. I mean, I spent 200,000 words talking about them (not including the completely useless conversations that they had in the middle of the book that I cut out and pasted in another document when I realized how insanely long it was). Main character is a bit off a Mary Sue–though I’d like to believe she isn’t completely unlikable. And not to be outdone, she has her male counterpart, the Gary Stu (or Marty/Larry Stu if you prefer). A good few of Miss Sue’s friends are based on friends I had in high school, which is always a good idea… Still, for all their problems, I still love them all. Even if hidden away, they are still my first cast of characters and will be defended beyond reason.

Writing: Gah. Prologue wreaks of having just watched the beginning of the first Lord of the Rings movie. It has so many beginning writer problems it makes me cringe. Yeah, I would definitely have to take a hatchet to that to make it anywhere near presentable. I have other projects I’m working on, and am not being paid to tackle that, so that’s not happening anytime soon.

2. Two or Two-Thousand: Next up, the yet (and more than likely forever) unfinished novel that was started after Librae in an attempt to keep up the writing pace. Again, a high school (junior year?) project.

Length: 40,000 when abandoned. If I remember correctly (again, this was a high school project, so it’s been a while since I’ve thought about it) it’s one of the “I thought of a better idea” casualties that plagued me up until NaNoWriMo in college gave me a reason to stick to project (and taught me all my writing didn’t have to be giant wannabe epics). 40,000 isn’t too bad (about halfway to a proper novel) but I’ve just finished all the beginning stuff, so it’s likely this would have stretched out to something completely unruly if I ever truly got into the main plot.

Plot: Again, not a completely awful idea. Clichéd again, but somewhere between fantasy and sci fi about a society where water is inaccessible and has to be manufactured (thus making it amazingly expensive). Not nearly as original as thought it was at the time (see my “Accidental Plagiarism” article) but not without merit.

Characters: Generally unlikable. Again, we have some Mary Sue/Gary Stu problems, though not as much of a problem as in Librae. Even without leaning more Mary Sue, the main characters see entirely unlikable reading it now.

Writing: Same beginning writer problems. Same awkward prologue right at the beginning (had to keep “my style” consistent for when these got published, don’t you know) though I suppose you can argue I’m learning a little.

3. Just Farrah: What I abandoned Two or Two-Thousand for. I believe this was senior year of high school. I might be wrong, however

Length: 20,000 when abandoned. I didn’t get far enough to have some idea about what it might have ended up at, but I at least have some hope that it wouldn’t have ended up as some 200,000 word behemoth

Plot: Eh, could be interesting. Not fantasy this time, but about a girl who secretly wants to be a singer, against her parent’s wishes, and thus moonlights in a club. Nothing special, but nothing awful.

Characters: No Mary Sues this time, but the majority are stock characters/two-dimensional. Main character is stock good girl who secretly isnt’ so good. Love interest is stock bad boy with heart of gold…and it goes on. Would need some serious character development if I were to revisit this.

Writing: Getting there. Not great but it doesn’t make me cringe at least.

And that, I believe, takes us through high school. If any of you are career writers/have been writing for years, I have to say it’s really interesting to go back over your old writing. Feels good to know you’re advancing. Perhaps if people ask nicely, I will be persuaded to share a couple of samples of just how much mine has changed in the future…for now, that file is closing again.

Too Much Dialogue

Today’s News: Read an interview I did with An Innovative Pursuit here about writing, Grey Areas, and upcoming The Bleeding Crowd.

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Another topic courtesy of the NaNoWriMo forums: How much dialogue is too much dialogue in a novel/short story?

For anyone who’s read my work, you’re probably assuming that my answer is “there’s never too much dialogue.” I’ll be the first to admit that I am a huge fan of dialogue. In fact, regarding my last short story published (“Frankincense” for those of you who don’t want to pop over to my biography), the acceptance letter for the anthology literally started:

” Well…normally when I read a manuscript that consists of 95% dialogue, I stop reading after about two pages and prepare a decline letter.  Yours, however, kept me reading…which is what a good story should do.”

She went on to compare it to Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, so I’ll take it overall as a compliment, but you know you write a lot of dialogue when someone accepting your work feels the need to point out that it’s nearly all dialogue (personally, I think 95% is overestimating, but still…)

Every author I know has a different take on dialogue. Personally, I find it the most interesting (and generally easiest) thing to write. Many people find it the hardest  (I’ve more than once heard people complaining about how poorly they do dialogue). Editing, I can see that. For some people, dialogue comes naturally. For some it sounds stilted and unnatural. Based on our skills/preferences, it’s completely understandable (at least to me) that we each lean one way or another. We write more dialogue or more narrative.

More and more, though, I hear people talking about being worried they’re using too much/not enough dialogue in their writing. For example, this post in the NaNoWriMo Forums this morning:

So my novel is 75000 words and pretty much done.  Problem is, the last 1/3 is alot of dialogue…I dont think I can cut much of it without losing the vital information it posesses.  Is there something I can do to fix this problem?  I am trying to add alot of movement between words and descriptives to break it up but I still find myself worrying…HELP.

And on the other side:

Do you think it’s either bad style or very off-putting to readers if there are whole pages (or 2 or 3 pages at a time) with no dialogue? I often find I’m following events involving one person on their own, and I realise it’s been three pages since anyone actually SAID anything.”

Now, I admit I’ve been trying to put a little more narrative into my writing, but then, personally I don’t like reading too much narrative, so I probably (read: definitely) still lean on the dialogue-heavy side.

So, when should you worry that you have too much dialogue (or too much narrative)? Or should you even worry?

Based on the odd compliment for Frankincense, it seems too much dialogue could hurt you when it comes to submitting your work. Though I never had a problem with a ton of dialogue in submissions (it would be a bit hypocritical to…) I’m sure others in acquisitions and agents might dislike it. While that can come from just about any part of your writing style (it’s why you should expect those rejects I was talking about in yesterday’s post) you definitely don’t want to find yourself in the reject pile before the agent/publisher of your choice has actually had a chance to look at your work.

So, like everything else when it comes to writing, it comes down to weighing the pros and cons.

Dialogue Pro:

– Dialogue tends to move more quickly due to its quick back and forth nature. It’s simple to explain things without taking too much time and losing the reader’s attention

Narrative Pro:

– Narrative moves slowly (or more slowly than dialogue) and gives you a chance to really dig in to important things. People don’t tend to get into long intricate explanations (unless they’re Bond villains) and thus you can do things with narrative that will sound awkward in dialogue.

Dialogue Pro:

– Dialogue gives you a chance to develop multiple characters at once. One of the quickest ways to tell who someone is is to hear them talk. What kind of grammar does the character use? What words? Is he/she polite or swear like a sailor? A couple of lines and people can tell a ton without long-winded paragraphs about your character’s back story.

Narrative Pro:

– Narrative gives you a chance to see the world through your POV (Point of View) Character’s eyes. Of course this doesn’t work so well in omniscient third person, but as that style hasn’t been popular in the better part of a century, generally you’re relating the story, or at least each scene, through one character. This is especially true in first person. Dialogue has to be more truthful than narrative. You write what is said. How your POV character interprets things, however, shows up in narrative. Are they the type to take every little thing as sarcasm? Do they think the way their boss just winced means they’re getting fired? You can show how they react much better with narrative.

Dialogue Con:

It’s easy to get into “As you know, Bob” situations with dialogue. For those of you who don’t know/don’t want to risk the time black-hole that is TV Tropes, “As you know, Bob” is a term that describes those awkward bits of a dialogue where it’s obviously the author trying to get information in the reader needs to know, but what the characters would never be talking about, since they both know what’s going on. For example:

“How is Cathy, your sister, doing?”
“Just fine. As you know, she fell off a building lately, but fell on a circus tent and thus didn’t get as hurt as she could have.”

1) Why would the first speaker need to clarify that Cathy is the second’s sister? The second speaker knows that. And 2) Why would the second speaker need to explain something that the first speaker already knows (Cathy’s fall)? It’s awkward and could be taken care of with a line of narrative along the lines of “It had been three weeks since his sister, Cathy’s fall…”

Narrative Con:

It’s much easier to fall into “laundry lists” with narrative. For example:

“Tim and Nancy went to the store. It took about 15 minutes. They walked up and down the aisles. They found milk. Then they checked out…”

Now, part of that example’s problem is the repetitive sentence structure and what not, but hopefully you see where I’m going. There’s no need give a play-by-play account of what’s happening, but it’s so easy to do when writing narrative. Unless one of your characters is supposed to be long-winded and boring, it will just feel awkward for something along the lines of:

“How was your day?”
“Well, I went to the store. It took me about 15 minutes to get there. Then I walked through all the aisles…”

And the list goes on and on. Will I keep trying to add narrative to my writing? Sure. But I’m not going to worry about the proper ratio for it. At least in my opinion, the genre of your novel and the situation of each scene is going to dictate how much narrative is needed just as much as my preference for dialogue. Rather than worrying about a ratio, or if people aren’t going to be happy with this much narrative or that much dialogue, weigh the pros and cons of each for what you want to happen in the scene. After all, if Frankincense is any indication, good writing will come out above any ratio of dialogue to narrative. It’s just about getting it to be good.

How to Get Published

As people who have read earlier posts should know, I’ve recently signed a publishing contract (two, actually [yay] but one is being published under a pen name, so I’ll leave that for other places). After congratulations, what I have heard most since telling people is “How do you get published?”

So far I have refrained from the two-step answer:

1. Write a good book.

2. Find someone who wants to publish it.

Truly, that might be the simple answer, but I doubt it’s what the people who ask the question want to hear. Hearing how those people talk, it sounds like they think publishing is some large maze that you just need some pointers to get through before you get the ultimate goal of that book print in your hands. Perhaps there are some pointers someone could give about how to get on the fast track to publishing, but sadly I don’t have one. It just comes down to writing a book that someone thinks is good enough to publish and then finding that person.

But, in the interest of actually giving people something more substantial when asking about publishing, I’ll try to offer a few more pointers, answer a few more questions.

– Don’t let rejections bother you. Personally, I hate those statistics people throw around when trying to be encouraging about this. Stephan King was turned down by this many publishers, J.K. Rowling by this many… I don’t keep my rejection letters like some of my writer friends do, I couldn’t tell you how many  times the two manuscripts were rejected before someone wanted to publish them (more than a couple, less than a ton). I don’t gain any sort of motivation from my rejections like it seems some people do. Rejection letters are a part of life as a writer–at least if you’re not a best seller. Some will be form “thanks but no thanks” some will be very nice (one of the most recent rejections I have gotten stated “I’m sorry to say that I wasn’t connecting wholeheartedly with your writing, despite its poise and polish” which I thought very sweet) and give words of encouragement, but I always expect some rejections to come. Don’t let them bother you, all you need is that one yes.

– Nothing replaces a great manuscript. Writing credits can help (have you published a novel before? great) but not having any isn’t the end of the world. From my years working in acquisitions, I can completely honestly say that the manuscript is what is most important to selling your novel. Having a long line of previous credits and a PhD is not going to make up for having a bad plot, flat writing, or three typos a paragraph. What won’t help you is putting in things that are vaguely related as a way of trying to fill in credits you don’t have. Writing “This is my first novel, but I have worked X years as a technical writer” tells me that you probably have good spelling and grammar, but nothing else. Creative writing is an entirely different skill than technical writing. Trust your writing to prove what your lack of writing credits can’t.

– It’s easier to get short stories published than novels. That said, if you feel better having something to put in that final paragraph of a query letter, you should probably focus on publishing short stories. They’re cheaper than a Master’s in Creative Writing, and easier to get published than a novel. I’ve never seen a reason to spend the money entering writing contests, but there are plenty of publishers who put out literary magazines and anthologies on a regular basis. As it costs them less, and it’s less of a risk than backing you for a novel, you will generally find your short stories up against at least less scrutiny than any novel submissions. They are also a good way to get some money off your writing while trying to score that big novel deal. 1,000 word story isn’t going to take you as long to write as a 100,000 word novel and–even if you don’t make as much off it–you’ll have enough money for a few cups of coffee and a professional writing credit to put to your name.

As unhelpful as that might be for any “insider” publishing secrets, I hope it helps shed some light into getting published. I am always willing to answer questions if you want to contact me (comment, or find my contact info on the contact page above) I’m happy to share what not-so-sage wisdom I might have from my years on both sides of publishing.

But yeah. Two steps. Write good book. Find someone who thinks it’s good.

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Beginning Writer Problems

Publishing Update: The contract for my new novel, The Bleeding Crowd, has been signed. Look for more updates as its August release date gets closer.

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As a freelance editor, I spend a good amount of time with other people’s not-quite finished masterpieces. Though I have edited for all manner of writers (from the first-time novelist to multiply-published) my three most recent jobs have been for either completely new novelists, or ones with only a little experience under their belts.

None have been especially bad (there are some novels I have gotten freelance which, I admit, have made me cringe) but I have seen some problems that seem to be a common theme. For all those aspiring novelists out there, here are a few things I’d suggest keeping an eye on.

1. “Very” abuse. I can understand it, the music at the club your characters have gone to isn’t just loud. Having gone to clubs, I know the particular level of loud club music is. “The music was very loud” is a “very” weak sentence though. Not only because of the “to be” verb (was) but because “very”, for the most part, just clutters up a sentence. There are such stronger words to use. “The music was deafening” or “my/his/her ears rang, the music shaking the walls” are both stronger (and more interesting).

2. Contractions. People speak with contractions. One of the easiest ways to make someone sounds stuffy/formal/like a non-native English speaker is to have them speak without contractions. Think about the people you talk to on a regular basis. Now think about which of these sounds more like what they would say: a) “I am going to go. He cannot now, so he will come when he is able.”  of b) “I’m going to go. He can’t now, so he’ll come when he’s able.”

3. If people are saying things, use dialogue. As with all of these suggestions, there are exceptions, but dialogue is one of the easiest ways to make your writing quick and engaging. Of course it has to be good dialogue, but even bad dialogue tends to be more interesting than, “he was telling me/him/her about this, and this, and this.”

4. You don’t need to account for every minute. It’s possible to skip time/stop when the interesting part of the scene is done. If you start every scene by a character waking up and end with them going to sleep (and it isn’t a conscious stylistic choice) take a closer look at the scene. Do you really just need the two main characters to meet? You can have “they looked at each other in the coffee shop” as the first line of the scene. It doesn’t have to be “she woke up, took a shower, thought about having breakfast, but then decided to just get a bagel at the coffee shop on the corner.” If it isn’t important/interesting, you can skip to the fun parts.

5. “To Be” verbs. I touched on this a bit before, but “to be” verbs (am, is, was, were…) are weak. Don’t worry about taking out every “to be” verb in your writing, but if it doesn’t need to be there, don’t use it. For example, it doesn’t have to be “The ball was falling.” “The ball fell” is better.

6. Adverbs. I’m hardly one of those editors who is against adverbs of any kind. If you’ve read any of my writing, you know I’m not against adverbs. Just like “very” abuse, the main problems with abusing adverbs is that often they’re used when a stronger word could be. It’s especially bad when coupled with “very” abuse. “He said very quietly.” What’s wrong with “He whispered.”? If you can say something in fewer words, it’s generally stronger.

7. Telling, not showing. Yeah, this saying is overused quite a big, but it does has its uses. It’s just not interesting reading “He was angry.” How is “he” feeling? Or if he isn’t the narrator, how does the narrator see “he” is mad? Is his pulse rising? Is his face turning red? Is he clenching his fists?

8. Vary sentence structure. If every sentence starts with the same word (generally “I” in first person or “He/She/[Character’s Name]” in third person, try to change up some sentences. Not everything has to be filtered though a character (to use an above example, it doesn’t have to be “I/He/She/[Character Name] saw the ball fall” it can just be “The ball fell.”) It’s also possible to change up complex sentences (“She started to walk down the dark street, her foot steps echoing on the walls.” can become “Her foot steps echoed on the wall as she…”)

9. Switching tenses. Something to just watch for, I see it far too often. You can write in present or past tense (there are plenty of debates over which is better, and past is more common, but it’s your choice). Just keep consistent. Few things seem more awkward than when you start a sentence in past tense and finish it in present.

As with anything else in creative writing, take what I say with a grain of salt. There’s a time and place for almost everything. It’s when you do things without thinking, without a reason for them, that it makes someone seem like a novice. All of the above are little things, easily correctable (I’m sure I did more than one of them when I was just starting to write). Writing, like anything else, is a skill. If it isn’t perfect to start, just keep practicing.

Even if something is the best thing you’ve ever written, it only is because you haven’t had the chance to write something even better.

The Name Game

While working on a separate post for tomorrow, I came to the realization that a number of questions my fellow WriMos ask when looking for plot help in the NaNoWriMo forums have to do with naming, be it a character, tavern, city, or anything else.

I completely understand that. Names are important. They set a tone, and I know I personally can’t develop a character until I have a name for them (I’m just not able to write “X said to Y” like some people can while looking for names, it seems).

Luckily for us writers, the internet abounds with resources to find names (Lucky for my readers, too, or all my minor characters would have the first name that came to mind–which oddly enough tends to be Kyle.) So, in the interest of consolidating all those helpful sites I use when looking for/making up names…

HELPFUL NAMING SITES

Character Names:

behindthename.com: Personally, I consider this site a bit like the Holy Grail of naming resources. Not only do they have an amazingly long list of names (each with a full explanation of the history behind it) but you can sort them by country,  see what names were the most popular in the year your character was born, or even search by meaning. They have also recently started surnames.behindthename.com, which has last names. The list isn’t quite as extensive as the original behindthename site so far, but it’s still a great source.

thinkbabynames.com: Though I am partial to behindthename, thinkbabynames.com is also a good source for first names, including the rarer names behindthename doesn’t have listed. For example where “Me’Shell” might only get you this list of similarly spelled names on behindthename, it’s featured today on thinkbabynames, which will tell you it is a variant of Michelle.

babynamewizard.com: Another useful baby name site. Perhaps most useful is it’s front page “Find a Name” feature, which lets you search for a name based of certain criteria such as “Must start with __” or “Can’t start with __” If you really want an uncommon but traditional sounding name for a character that doesn’t start with B, but ends with an A, this is your site.

census.gov: If you’re looking for relatively common last names (for US-based) characters, this list provides, by percentage, the top ranked last name down to 88799th place. (Sorry Johnson, Smith has replaced you as most popular once again.)

wikipedia.org: Yes, it had to pop up eventually, and now that it isn’t blacked out it’s really quite useful when naming characters, especially (I find) this list of common surnames. You can pick which country your character comes from, and pick one that is currently common in the region.

Place Names:

wikipedia.org: Once again, and top ranking this time. Most of the place names I use actually come from wikipedia. Whether I’m stealing a common town/city name for a middle-of-nowhere US town, finding something French sounding, or making up my own town using generic forms of British/Irish place names, wikipedia is a great site. For example, my made up town of Ardbost? Comes from the generic list on wikipedia (Ard: Height, Bost: Farm. Named for the hill the town was first built on).

Serendipity Place Name Generator: A great place to get random suggestions for made up place names. I generally set it to generate 50 at a time (the most it will) and then pick one/come up with some combination of a few when one strikes my fancy. They also have Fantasy Place Name Generator

Chaotic Shiny Place Name Generator: Another fun place name generator. Also will put in real landmark names so you get fun creations such as “Taelus Glade” and “Dugfresh Pond”

Finally, since I have to give in to my NaNoWriMo Fangirl-ness, I can’t for get the NaNoWriMo Adoption Society. This forum is where any WriMo who can’t use a name, plot, title or anything else they think up is free to leave it for the needy. With how many things are there, if you don’t find a place name, or character name, or anything else you want to use, you’ll at least probably have some idea sparked while going through them all.

Self, Vanity, Traditional Publishing

With my second review going up today on ePublishaBook.com, I have started reading another novel for future review–one sent to me by its author. Though I haven’t nearly read enough to give a proper opinion (and I’ll save what thoughts I have on the story/the writing’s actual merit for the actual review) reading the first few pages has made me pause to think about all of the different forms of publishing out there, be it ebook, paperback, hardback, self, traditional, or even vanity.

If you’re a writer, you probably have some idea what these different things are, but if you aren’t (or you just stumbled across this page–in which case welcome) I’ll give a short rundown.

ebooks, paperbacks, and hardbacks should be pretty self-explanatory. ebooks are books in electronic format (like for Kindle, Nook, iPad, or any other digital format) paperbacks and hardbacks are print books, the only difference being their binding (and generally price).

Now, for the different types of publishing.

Traditional Publishing is generally what people think of when someone talks about “getting published.” Here, an author submits their manuscript (either by themselves or through an agent) to a publisher. If the publisher likes it, they offer the author a contract and then helps the author edit, publish, and market their book.

Self Publishing is really more a recent trend in publishing, with the internet, social media, and cheap alternatives for getting a book out there, many authors have started cutting out looking for an agent and/or publisher altogether and produce their books themselves (often through a platform such as createspace.come [a NaNoWriMo sponsor, for the record] or lulu.com).

Vanity Publishing, also called “joint” or “subsidy” publishing, is a publisher who charges the author to get their book out there, either charging them up-front, or slipping a clause into the author’s contract that stipulates they buy a certain number of books once published for “self-promotion” (If you get the question “How many copies of your book are you planning on buying” right up front from a publisher, that should be a red flag. You can read more about “back-end” vanity publishers here.)

Of the three, I fully support all but vanity publishers (if you’re going to pay money up front to publish your book–something that should never happen in traditional publishing–just self publish. It will be most likely be cheaper and I, at least, find it infinitely more respectable). Self publishing, for the most part, still has a relatively bad reputation, which I can understand with the number of unedited, semi-readable books that have made it out there without picky publishers acting as gatekeepers. Some self published novels, though, are wonderful (and I admit, a good number of the people who hire me to edit books for them are planning on self-publishing). If you are willing to act as your own publisher (edit your book, do your own cover art, etc.) I see absolutely no problem with self publishing.

There’s an odd sort of middle ground, though, when I see a book that says it’s from a publisher–not a known vanity publisher–but looks self published. As previously stated, createspace.com is a popular self publishing platform, it is also a NaNoWriMo sponsor. Though it changed its policy for last year’s NaNo Winners’ prize, in previous years it offered a free proof copy to winning participants. Since I’ve done (and won) NaNoWriMo a few times, I have a couple of these proof copies lying around for books that were never actually put up for publication (it’s sometimes nice just to have things bound, and hey, it was free). With something  like three or four proof copies of things lying around my house, I’m pretty well acquainted with how the books look. Another plus, for some self publishers, is that createspace.com has a cover-maker. You put in a picture (or chose one of theirs) put in your title and name, and there you go, you have a cover. Since I wasn’t actually publishing those proof copies I mentioned, I’ve used more than my share of these easy-to-make covers. Holding the book I got today, it looks like a createspace.com book.

Like I’ve said many times, I have no problem with self published books. I encourage both traditionally and self published authors to contact me for review. What was odd, then, is that a publisher was listed on the back cover. As my point here isn’t to besmirch an author or publisher, I won’t name any names, but already it seems suspicious. Beginning to read, there are some very simple formatting errors that even I, with my short, short stint in layout as an intern at Leucrota Press before moving to editing full-time, can pick out right away. The most condemning–the 0.5″ indent for the paragraphs. It seems much too big on smaller pages, almost always means the book was reformatted into a 6×9 standard book from a word processor (such as Word or Publisher) without changing the standard indent you use on a 8.5×11 page.

After a couple of typos, I finally check the permissions page. Final nail in the coffin. Though there is the author’s copyright, and a pretty standard “All rights reserved” paragraph, there’s no publisher listed, even though there is one on the back. Likewise, no publisher logo on the title page. Either this is someone making up their own company, or it’s a publisher that has no idea what it’s doing.

A quick google search shows that the publisher website is minimal at best, only listing this one book in its catalogue, making it the publishers one and only release going back a good few years. If they are a fledgling publisher, that’s a pretty bad business model.

Now I’m torn. I’d be fine if the author had said they had self published. I’d be fine if the book had come from a small publisher that’s just getting their footing. I have the sinking feeling that this is neither, just an author who went to the trouble of making up a business name and buying a domain to make their book look traditionally published when it isn’t.

I may be wrong, of course. As a legal procedural would have to say, I only have circumstantial evidence. But, with everything combined, that’s what it looks like. And, at least in my own personal opinion, that’s worse than either a new press or self publishing. Every small press has to start somewhere, and there are plenty of fine, or great, self published novels out there. It’s the pretense–a not very well pulled off pretense–that gets to me.

I’ll still read it, give it a fair review either way. But for anyone out there thinking of self publishing–if you’re going to self publish, do it proudly. If your story is interesting and your writing good, it will speak for itself. Should the thought have crossed your mind, there’s no reason to try to hide behind an odd, one-book publisher, much less pay for the domain name. I’ll review you either way. And, if you don’t, I personally will think more of you for it.

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Concerning Pseudonyms

This morning I woke up to an always welcome sight in my inbox — a “You may have gotten however many rejections before on this manuscript, but this isn’t one. We’re interested in publishing your novel” letter.

They are currently working out a contract, so nothing’s signed (I won’t fully be excited until I’ve looked that over. No counting chickens before they’ve hatched), but it got me to thinking about one very important topic: pseudonyms.

Now, anyone who has ever gone over to glance at my biography page can see a list of published works. I didn’t use a pseudonym for any of them. Honestly, I never saw much of a need to/my name is awesome/I’m a little vain (if the previous slash didn’t get that across, I mean, Dall – beginning of the alphabet, easy to pronounce, generally pretty…)

This manuscript, however, is a little different. While I have never written anything like a memoir (see my “Write What You Know” post to see why. My life just isn’t that interesting) this manuscript is closer to being autobiographical than anything else I have written. And while I will neither confirm nor deny this, there might be some characters surprisingly close to people I know in my real life. None are those people, none are named to be those people, but there may more may not be some striking similarities.

I assure everyone in my life who is now wondering if her or she has told me anything incriminating, everything is completely fictional, and with each edit it has become more and more so (again, my life=boring, had to spice it up a little), but still…

And thus we find ourselves back where I started. Obviously a pseudonym would be handy in separating anything personal that is left in the work from me, and thus anyone who might feel they are unfavorably portrayed in a book that may or may not contain a likeness of someone potentially like them. Of course, I’m not talking about slander (note: pseudonyms do not protect you from being sued for slander), but it would add a little more privacy for everyone. And there are other benefits of course, as outlined in articles such as this, this, and this.

But then, there are the bad things, like what do you do about marketing? Obviously, having written under the name “Jessica Dall”, I have always marketed myself as such. Everything from my webpage (jessicadall.yolasite.com), to my Twitter account (@JessicaDall), to this blog are, quite noticeably, under Jessica Dall. People talk about “branding” in many articles about pseudonyms. This work would be a stark break with the “brand”.

And there’s the fact that everyone who might be in the book would probably know I had written it anyway. I would still have to market it, of course. And I’m not planning on undergoing any sort of identity-hiding plastic surgery just to separate myself from the novel. It is just a novel after all. (Though I bet doing all book signings with my head under a paper bag would be quite a marketing gimmick…)

So is a pseudonym worth it? I actually don’t know. When I sign something (assuming I actually sign something) I will have to come to a decision. But for now, I’m still rather up in the air. Truly, it seems to be a matter of personal preference. People chose to use, and not to use, pen names for any number of reasons. And so, I’ll actually have to figure out those reasons. Great.

That’s Just…Wrong

In my last post, I wrote about my own take on the old writer adage “Write What You Know”. When you take it with a grain of salt, I agree, it’s a good thing to do. But, of course, there are always things you can’t know. And, there are things you don’t even think about possibly being wrong, just because we’ve read and seen too many things that tell us that the wrong things are true.

So, for this blog, I will make it my mission to correct at least some of these unknown mistakes that won’t seem to die in fiction. (If you feel I’ve missed an important one, feel free to add it in the comments or message me and I’ll add it.)

1. If you’re knocked out for more than a minute, it’s very possible you will have brain damage. Despite what you’ve seen and read time and time again, if you are hit over the head and are knocked out long enough to be moved to an entirely new location (generally by the bad guys) you aren’t going to wake up a little dazed and then be walking around a few seconds later. It’s hard to get knocked out for a reason. If every bump on the head took you out for 10 or more minutes, many more humans would have been eaten by lions back in yonder-times.

2. Gold bars are HEAVY. Ever dream of breaking into Fort Knox (or the New York Federal Reserve if you want to be different) throwing a bunch of gold into a duffel and heading out rich? It’s a great “bank heist” standard after all. Yeah, gold is dense. The men who move gold bars around wear special toe protectors to make sure their feet aren’t crushed by a dropped bar, and each bar is something like 20 pounds. By all accounts, those 20 pounds being contained in such a small object makes each one feel more like 50 (sadly, I’ve never gotten to hold one to see…) Stick a bunch in a duffel bag and you’re either not going to be able to lift it, or the fabric’s going to tear before you get it out of the room.

3. The Middle Ages lasted for 10 centuries. Look it up, from about 400 A.D. to 1400 A.D. Fashion changed in that millennium. A lot changed in that millennium. If you’re doing a historical fiction (or a time travel fantasy, or…) it’s easy to fall into historical inaccuracies by grouping it together as one cohesive time.

4. “Blowing up” a picture doesn’t make it clearer. There’s only so many pixels in a camera picture. At some point, zooming in is going to just make the picture blurry (try it yourself. Find a small picture and start zooming in, or stretching it, on your computer. It will get bigger, but not get clearer).

5. Defibrillation doesn’t bring people back to life. The electric jolt “shock paddles” give actually are made to stop the heart for a split second so that the heart will “restart” with a regular beat. If the heart’s already not beating, it can’t help.

6. Potatoes aren’t native to Ireland. One that’s more important, again, for historical/time travel fiction, even though they are associated with Ireland these days (what with the Potato Famine and all) potatoes did not exist in Europe (the “old world”) prior to the Columbian Exchange.

7. Cars don’t explode. If you watch Mythbusters, you probably already know this, but cars don’t tend to explode (or catch on fire) when they crash. Not unless explosives have been set inside them. Yes, gas is flammable, but car manufacturers are careful about those things. They don’t want to, you know, kill their customers.

8. Sounds doesn’t travel in space. Without any matter (air) to move through, the sound waves aren’t going to travel. Doesn’t matter if it’s a giant explosion or someone talking, there’s some finagling you’ll have to do in your sci fi for that to work.

9. Just because you aren’t in the fire/explosion/lava doesn’t mean you can’t get burned. Heat travels away from things that cause heat. It’s why, even if you aren’t touching the flame, holding your finger over a candle will still end up with you getting burned. Standing next to hot lava will, likewise, burn you.

10. Elevators doors won’t open onto empty shafts. As a safety mechanism, the part of the elevator that opens the doors is on the car. If the elevator is not at the floor, the doors aren’t going to slide open (at least for newer models, I’m not sure about older ones if someone wants to look into that.) It is, however, possible to get stuck in an elevator. I speak from experience there…

Hopefully those will help writers with any plot holes, and–like I said–if you think I’m missing something important, contact me or add it yourself in the comments. Happy writing.

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